Multiple Nothings to Say

Hi.

I wanted to write a blog, so here it is.

I am feeling — not quite my best, nor worse. Somewhere in between. Not sinking, but not floating either.

I’m not sure what to write. Either nothing comes out right, or everything feels like too much and not enough at the same time.

I’ve written a few sentences and deleted them. Then I wrote more, and deleted those too. So, is this what it feels like? To have nothing to say, but also multiple nothings — all pressing on your chest, asking to be said at once?

It’s a strange weight. Heavy, but vague. Familiar, yet hard to name.

I, honestly, just want to be.

Not fix anything. Not prove anything. Not even understand it.

Just be. Just breathe. Just sit in the silence of it all.

I wish I had something smart to say, something inspiring or profound. But here I am — crying quietly, trying to string together words from a heart that feels too full and a mind that feels too foggy.

How can I ever do this?

Maybe I’m not writing for answers. Maybe I’m writing just to exist a little louder than my silence.

If you’re reading this, thank you. For sitting in this moment with me. Even if it’s quiet. Even if it’s messy. Even if it’s full of nothing.