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Invitations To Say Yes

Today was a decent day. I went out with my university friend, Hanan. She was the one who initiated the plan. She messaged me, "Are you free today?" — she wanted to bring me along to someone's open house. I said no. Then she tried again: "Do you want to eat out together after work?" I said yes. After work at 5 P.M., we met up and went to a shopping mall. We ate sushi together and spent some time browsing a bookstore, just window-shopping and chatting. It was simple, but it felt nice. I’m glad I said yes. Currently, my friend is filming a TikTok live at my house, in the living room. It is apparently about distractions. She egged me to join in, saying that it is an informal live session. I'm too scared to agree. She just went ahead and called my name, asking for an answer to a question: "What is a top performer in our language?" — she caught me off-guard. I just said, "a high achiever" in our language. I'm glad I didn't mess up...
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Multiple Nothings to Say

Hi. I wanted to write a blog, so here it is. I am feeling — not quite my best, nor worse. Somewhere in between. Not sinking, but not floating either. I’m not sure what to write. Either nothing comes out right, or everything feels like too much and not enough at the same time. I’ve written a few sentences and deleted them. Then I wrote more, and deleted those too. So, is this what it feels like? To have nothing to say, but also multiple nothings — all pressing on your chest, asking to be said at once? It’s a strange weight. Heavy, but vague. Familiar, yet hard to name. I, honestly, just want to be. Not fix anything. Not prove anything. Not even understand it. Just be. Just breathe. Just sit in the silence of it all. I wish I had something smart to say, something inspiring or profound. But here I am — crying quietly, trying to string together words from a heart that feels too full and a mind that feels too foggy. How can I ever do this? Maybe I’m not writing for answers. Mayb...
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